Slim pickings
About the song
Apparently, Ted Sandyman once tried to mine the Three-Farthing Stone. I wrote a song about it!
Best sung to David Bowie's 'Diamond Dogs', this song was written for the "Three-Farthing Stone" protest rehearsal by the Brandy Badgers on May 15 2017. I am not actually sure that Ted ever did the deeds in this song, but he sure looks the type. Give him a scowl when yer pass by him, eh?
The Ballad of Ted Sandyman and the Three-Farthing Stone
There's a story spreading all across the Shire A tale of dust and deceit How that fiend Ted Sandyman set out to mine 'I'll get all the ores' 'I'll get all the ores'
Never one to go about his deeds with care Young Ted set out to mine our land with tools to spare And soon he set his sights upon the Three-Farthing Stone 'Mine it for ore, I will' 'Mine it for ore, I will'
(Did he mine?) With picks in hand he went (Did he mine?) But soon his picks were bent (Did he mine?) Didn't even make a dent
CHORUS: The times may be grand in the Shire But danger comes from our own So come on, stand up for the Three-Farthing Stone So come on, we'll stand up for the Three-Farthing Stone
With cursing and spitting and the darkest of moods He soon made new plans based on imported goods So he ordered a mining pick from toolsmiths in Bree 'This thing will serve me well' 'This thing will serve me well'
But oh the tools of men are really quite huge So when the Quick Post showed up, he felt like a stooge Mining picks are hard enough to wield when they fit 'But surely this is good' 'It'll serve me well'
(Did he mine?) He went up to the stone (Did he mine?) Raised his pick with a groan (Did he mine?) He fell down with a moan
CHORUS: The times may be grand in the Shire But danger comes from our own So come on, stand up for the Three-Farthing Stone So come on, we'll stand up for the Three-Farthing Stone
Oo-oo-ooh, Meet by that ancient stone Oo-oo-ooh, Meet by that ancient stone
So he gave up on the ways of mining ore His plans stuck in a drawer Still that dang Three-Farthing Stone made him feel sore 'I'll make it suffer' 'I'll make it suffer'
(Did he mine?) That stone just made him sick (Did he mine?) So he gave it quite a kick (Did he mine?) Now he walks with a stick
CHORUS: The times may be grand in the Shire But danger comes from our own So come on, stand up for the Three-Farthing Stone So come on, we'll stand up for the Three-Farthing Stone
Diamond Dogs
Want to listen to Bowie's Diamond Dogs? Here's yer chance!
[tvideo type="youtube" clip_id="gOYiEWgUDVA"] David Bowie - Diamond Dogs