A piece of proper dogetry!
There was a talent show in the Shire earlier tonight, which was grand good fun. I had pondered on whether to sign up or not. Times are a bit busy in real-life, so I haven't really had any time to write songs, stories, poetry or the like lately. Still, last night I sort of signed-up in the spur of the moment, claiming I'd bring me traveling dog show to the stage. To perform dog-etry!
Of course, dogetry is the ancient art of dog poetry, which involves lots of howling and sniffing and merry dogs. I have tried to simplify things a bit here. So, here is "The Steak", a proper dog-em which tells a tale rooted in real Shire life. After all, dogs like steak, hobbits have steak, and that is a recipe for... howling.
The Steak
Awoooooooooo!
Let me tell you a tale of a dog with a tail One that sought out adventure and life on the trail She was roaming and running through homesteads and towns Where the gammers and gaffers all met her with frowns
Awoooooooooo!
When she passed by a burrow, her nose caught the scent Of the finest of vittles, it made her relent So she ran to the garden, her belly a-quake When her eyes saw the fattest and juiciest steak
Awooo-wooooo!
"Oh, how friendly the hobbits, how caring they are" "Leaving food for a dog who has come from afar" So she picked up the steak and she lay down to eat When she heard from the burrow a mortified bleat
Arrrgh-noooooo!
Stomping into the garden with murderous eyes Came a hobbit who looked like she'd been baking pies She was waving a mean-looking pin in the air "Leave my dinner alone, or I'll kill you, I swear"
Aww.....wooooo!
Now the dog ran away with the steak in her mouth Up the road to the north, down the lane to the south From behind she heard cursing and yelling aloud It seemed steak-eating dogs were down here not allowed
Aaaaa-ooo-woooo!
After running for hours in afternoon sun They were back at the place where the chase had begun Right behind her the dog heard a frightening roar She ran into the burrow and locked up the door
Ahhh-woooooo-hooooo!
Oh, the dog never had such a grand time before There were steaks in the larder and rugs on the floor And the yelling outside helped her sleeping at night After all, high-pitched howls make a dog feel alright
Ah-noooo! Nooooooooooo!