Bound to be wild
About the song
Time for a song again, this time about one of my favourite song subjects. Naw, not biscuits this time. For some reason, I always find good fun in writing songs about the bounders!
This one is best sung to ABBA’s “The Winner Takes It All”, a song which already lives in local hobbit legend through Akelay’s “Jiro Takes It All”. Jiro’s comment upon hearing that song the first time was a good-natured “cheeky hobbits” (or similar). For some reason, the local bounders were far more vocal when they heard my version. Their grumbling even overcame their rumbling snores…
The Bounders Drank It All
I went to the inn
Looking for a night out
Dreaming of an ale
But my quest would fail
I arrived too late
Nothing left to savour
All the kegs were dry
I sat down to cry
The bounders drank it all
And then they took a fall
They’re lying on the floor
They almost block the door
All across The Shire
Cries of desperation
Always the same tale
Yes, we’re out of ale
And there’s no more beer
Wine a distant memory
Brandy is no more
And the bounders snore
The bounders drank it all
And then they took a fall
They’re lying on the floor
They almost block the door
The summer will be dry
No cider left to buy
The bounders drank it all
They snooze behind the wall
You might have a plan
Off to Yondershire
Surely they have ale
Go along that trail
After many miles
Find the local tavern
Then you’ll meet your fate
Once again too late
The bounders drank it all
And then they took a fall
They’re lying on the floor
They almost block the door
The summer will be dry
No cider left to buy
The bounders drank it all
They snooze behind the wall
What is there to do?
Mighty is the challenge
Cunning we must use
When dealing with the soused
Start the rumour mill
Send the bounders packing
All the ale is free
Away in distant Bree
The bounders drink it all
And then they take a fall
All the bounders, heading east
Looking for a drinking feast
Later snoozing, snoring deep
Sloshed and merry, in a heap
The Winner Takes It All
ABBA – The Winner Takes It All
Very cute, and funny!