I am a Biscuit Thief

September 22, 2014|Biscuits, Brockenborings, Laurelin|LOTRO, Songs2

The scourge of northern honey oats is back! In song form!

About the song

Best sung to Gilbert and Sullivan’s “I am a Pirate King” from Pirates of Penzance (see below), this was first performed at the slightly pirate-themed Green Dragon Friday September 19 2014.

I might be running out of excuses for singing more or less the same tale of biscuit theft by now, but, well, it WAS a rather recurring thing when I were a little rascal hobbit. And I really like the song. And biscuits. So there! Neener neener. Yarrrr!

Yer can have a look at me other songs in me Songbook!

Lyrics: I am a Biscuit Thief

Oh, running round both far and wide
Over the fields of green I stride
I smile at thoughts of summer and sun
When the days are long and we all have fun

But oh there are dangers awaiting me
Those hardships keeping me from me tea
But up ahead is my sweet relief
I live my life a biscuit thief

For I am a biscuit thief
I don’t want, no pork nor mutton nor beef
I am a biscuit thief

For I am a biscuit thief
Ch: (She is, a horrible biscuit thief)
I don’t want, no pork nor mutton nor beef
I am a biscuit thief
Ch: (She is, a horrible biscuit thief)
Hurrah for the biscuit thief – Ch: (A pox on the biscuit thief)

So I sneak inside the kitchen door
Tiptoeing on the dusty floor
I gently place me favourite chair
Then I climb the shelf to the jar up there

The spoils of the victor is in me hand
But from below comes a reprimand
Me ma with a scowl that could curdle milk
A pox on the thief and all her ilk

For I am a biscuit thief
I don’t want, no pork nor mutton nor beef
I am a biscuit thief

For I am a biscuit thief
Ch: (She is, a horrible biscuit thief)
I don’t want, no pork nor mutton nor beef
I am a biscuit thief
Ch: (She is, a horrible biscuit thief)
Hurrah for the biscuit thief – Ch: (A pox on the biscuit thief)

I am a Pirate King

Here’s how the original song sounds, in a version by Opera Australia.

Opera Australia – I am a Pirate King